Drove past Kayla’s work to get food.
panic attack diddn’t hit me until i got home.
i thought i was past this. Guess not.
Guess the mere thought of her still spirals me down.
though i’ve felt completely and utterly worthless and meaningless all day today too.
it’s like, do i mean nothing to anyone?
am i just that easy to push aside and never reply to.
My so called friends that say they’ll always be there for me. And when i need them they’re nowhere to be found.
Nice to know i’m so important.
nice to know that life has these plans for me.
I hope my crush opens her heart just a little to let me take her to this concert next week. She’s having trouble, she’s on suicide watch, and i know that if she goes, i’ll show her a great time. I’ll put that beautiful smile back on her face.
doesn’t help that i feel meaningless to her too.
maybe i’ll change my tactics around.
one day i’ll show my crush the things i’ve said on here and she’ll either feel special, or think i’m a total creep and hate my forever.
WAKE. THE. FUCK. UP.
- DEPRESSION IS NOT SPECIAL
- ANXIETY IS NOT CUTE
- SELF HARM SCARS ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL
- SUICIDE IS NOT POETIC
- EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT GLAMOROUS
- MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT ROMANTIC SO STOP TREATING THEM THAT WAY
- SCHIZOPHRENIA IS TERRIFYING
- DON’T PRETEND TO HAVE HALLUCINATIONS
- YOU DON’T FUCKING WANT THEM